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Sex! Still a taboo subject?

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Chris Ware color illustration of parents reaction to a schoolboy's tale of the birds and bees. Lexington Herald-Leader 2005

As we all know, sex is a very hot topic. Whether we talk about it freely among friends or for educational purposes, it’s bound to cause some controversy.

This was the case when the Sundial published an article on September 10, “So whose pleasure is it anyway?” stating why some women feel uncomfortable when it comes to performing oral sex on their boyfriends. Was it the picture? Was it the article? Was it the fact that the word “blow job” was used?

I’m not bashing the people who spoke out against the article. Everyone has the right to express his or her opinion and points of views. However, I do believe we’re in the year 2009 and our generation is one of acceptance, tolerance, open-mindedness, change and progression.

Sex is everywhere. It’s shown in movies, music videos, lyrics of songs, talk shows, books, etc. The rapper Pitbull is known for his explicit lyrics regarding sex. His videos show half-naked women dancing and bouncing their booties. Britney Spears, in her first video came out in a schoolgirl uniform and pigtails, singing “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” Her most recent song “If You Seek Amy” had many speculating that the lyrics implied she was looking for someone to have sex with her.  What about Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” mentioning only oral sex?

I can’t talk about sex without mentioning all of the “American Pie” movies, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”, “Zack and Mimi Make a Porno”; I could go on forever.  These movies were based entirely on sex.

These are prime examples that sex is in everything we see and hear. If we’re going to get upset about a picture or article that doesn’t show nudity, genitals or someone’s face, and because the word “blow job” was used, where’s our priorities in what really matters?

I would be the first to admit TV can influence us on sex causing major confusion and turmoil. I know because I get confused sometimes on what I should do, what I want to do, and what I’m expected to do.

I feel this hurts us because we are college students in the peak of our sexuality and curiosity. Not only that, but we’re in the new millennium with all theses movies and songs throwing sex at our faces, and still, we have to battle with the fact that sex is considered a taboo subject.

This day in age, sex shouldn’t be considered taboo. We should talk about it freely.  I sometimes feel like we’re living in the 1900s because whenever someone mentions anything that has to do with sex, some people automatically treat it as something dirty, vulgar, and obscene.

Sex has been taught to us since we were in high school and junior high. By the time we reach college, it no longer should cause embarrassment. We’re in a college environment where we shouldn’t feel judged when we talk about sex.

Right now, most of us taste the meaning of independence. Our parents are no longer packing our lunches, tucking us in at night, picking out our clothes, brushing our hair, and walking with us to class.

Now is the time we have to be adults and make wise decisions that could affect the rest of our lives. The Sundial in no way is teaching people how to behave when it comes to sex or forcing anyone to believe something they don’t want to, or to do something they don’t want to do. It’s our choice whether we want to act out or not.

Like I mention before TV can influence us, but in the long run it’s up to us to make the right decision. As growing adults, we have the ability to say yes or no. We can’t blame a newspaper, TV, or friends from what we are doing. We have a mind of our own. We know what’s right and what’s wrong.

But again, we still face uncertainty and we’re not perfect. We still have questions.  Even though we’re adults we make mistakes, so what a better way to have an outlet by students for students.

An outlet creates communication and solidarity with students that might be facing the same doubts that other students might be dealing with.

We’re not a black and white generation. We’re a generation dealing with things such as Prop. 8 and I believe it’s time to get over words, sex, pictures, and focus our time, energy, and effort into things that really matter and affect us personally.

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6 Comments

  1. Lelo Sep 28, 2009

    I hope that is becomes less Taboo in the future and more open discussed and explored in societies higher education institutions.

  2. Jerry Springer Sep 16, 2009

    Pretty horrible, how area any of the examples given relevant? Those movies are in bad taste intentionally, and little Wayne come on, this is a newspaper at a university. Shock value is cheap and insulting.

    Jerry.

    1. what Dec 14, 2009

      who are you to say what’s in bad taste?

      little wayne, cmon. im sure theres quite a high percentage of college students listening to him.

      the examples are relevant if you take the message of the article the right way. sex is thrown in our faces. those are certain examples of by who and by what means of media.

      aside from those two excuses that this was “pretty horrible,” what other legitimate justifications do you have for your literary criticism?

      i agree with this article. it s ridiculous that sex is a taboo subject. on a side note, if i had to say why, i feel its because sex is addressed in a comedic way, too proper or isnt addressed and is repressed by those who should speak of it. and often sex isnt proper. its not like “well lets take off our clothes now, shall we?” or you hear your dad saying “oh god your mom’s so tight.” knowing your audience is a bit difficult. people have different interests and if one is the teacher, id assume they have some sexual experience whereas the student has little to none. it’s hard to find a medium and people avoid it or address it the wrong way.

      btw. jerry, “…how AREA any…” ???

  3. Stephanie Sep 16, 2009

    Sundial Alum: i could not have said it better! Dito what he said.

  4. Sundial Alum Sep 15, 2009

    Yes, you’re right, sex is everywhere in the media. However, I think you’re missing the point on why people were upset by the piece. An article or column about sex isn’t the bad part; in fact, I agree that a college paper should address the issue so relevant in the lives of students. The piece by Amber however, did not do that. It sounded crude and uneducated. It did not discuss the pros and cons of oral sex in relation to intimacy, what both people gain or not gain by doing it or the health risks, to name a few. To me at least, it came across as a girl who was so annoyed that her boyfriend kept asking for it that she decided to share it with the campus. The column, written the way it was should’ve been left out of the paper and was better suited as a discussion among staffers / friends during Margarita Monday at Acapulco once the paper is done for the night.
    Yes, sex is discussed everywhere, from Maxim to Cosmo and even Parenting, but the difference is HOW it is written. Yes, sex is thrown in our face through movies, music, tv, etc. Shouldn’t the column be one of the places where sex can be discussed respectfully? Be informative, be interesting but please be professional. Being tolerant and open- minded is one thing, but you also have to know your audience. You are not just writing to 19- year-old boys with raging hormones.
    Every semester, there will always be people or groups who disagree with the Sundial. Readers have to remember, the Sundial is run by students who are learning to be great journalists. Please give them their chance to do great things. As staffers, you must also remember the privilege you have. The Sundial is a wonderful place to learn and make your mistakes now. You have the power to cover topics never covered before, to address issues about CSUN that no other publication cares to cover. To make it better than previous semesters. Don’t “blow” this chance.

  5. Annie O. Mous Sep 14, 2009

    Dear Miss Munoz,
    There is a huge difference between this article and the other one. This one cites sources, movies, etc. This one was tastefully done. I have been reading the Sundial for four years, and there were only really twice when the community got this worked up. Amber’s Penthouse Forum and accompanied picture, and the “Ten reasons to watch porn.”
    The article did not state “over 30% of couples feel uncomfortable with engaging in oral sex” or “according to a New York times article, many women dislike engaging in fellatio.” Instead, this article came off as “I don’t like sucking my boyfriend’s penis, because it might smell funny and he wants me to suck it, but I don’t want to suck it.”
    (The “10 reasons” article was pretty much “I like porn cause it helps me get off, and its hot and stuff”

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