Dear Life & Style,
I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a wonderful guy, and things are going great. However, I’m new to CSUN and want to make the most out of my college experience by getting invovled. I’m considering joining a sorority, but I’m a little hesistant because I am not sure how it will affect my relationship. What should I do?
The real question is, do you want to keep your boyfriend? Sororities are great for meeting your bridesmaids, making professional contacts for the near future, and living the stereotypical college experience. Trust me I’ve been there, done that. But I was single.
I wouldn’t recommend associating yourself with fraternities and party scenes under any circumstances as a taken woman.
Long-distance relationships thrive on trust and I’m not saying that becoming a “sorority girl” would make you untrustworthy but it’ll cause emotional turmoil for your man nonetheless, maybe even insomnia.
The combination of alcohol and interaction with boys other than your beau doesn’t exactly scream relationship success. You wouldn’t want the guilt trip via your conscience each time you put on another sexy themed outfit paired with coats of mascara for those nights out with the girls.
It’d be unfair to you both. He’d turn into a jealous control-freak and you’d be limited from living the Greek lifestyle in its entirety. You’ll be shoved into temptation while he’s worried from afar. It’s the epitome of what some might call a recipe for disaster.
Not to mention, to call sorority involvement time consuming would be an understatement. Imagine a jam-packed social calendar including meetings, mixers, and philanthropy events aside from classes and homework. God forbid you exercise and eat. Let’s face it, once you dedicate your free time to over 50 girls, your boyfriend will most likely be left in the dust.
With the pressure to impress and expectations to uphold, you’ll stop having time for video chats and phone calls. Your weekends will be too busy planning, shopping, bonding, and celebrating. You’ll visit each other less and less due to more and more time constraints and distractions. Your cell phone will be so overwhelmed with new contacts you’ll accidentally forget to text him back or start a conversation at all.
Emotional absence paired with physical distance is the perfect ingredient for brewing a breakup. He’ll start questioning your loyalty, intentions, and future as a couple. A man can only take so many rain checks, right?
Keeping the spark alive is work. Regardless of how strong your love is, no matter how understanding he may seem, even if he’s in a fraternity on his college campus, you being in a sorority would likely change the dynamic of your relationship for the worse.
Everything else aside, sororities are expensive. Any extra cash you might receive through your parents, holiday cards, or extra work hours will most likely go towards a new party dress, T-shirts displaying fraternity support, crafting materials, sister dinners, your sorority’s memorabilia and tickets for various events. All in addition to your semester dues.
Needless to say, you wouldn’t have much money left over for plane tickets or gas to visit nor birthday presents or just-because gifts to express your love for your boyfriend whose miles away. If he’s a keeper, dates and mini vacations are, in most cases, paid for but, your time commitment to your sisters could consistently get in the way.
If you want to get involved there are other options. You might consider volunteer opportunities, or student government as well. Maybe even apply for a job through the university.
There are other options that possess all the qualities you, as a new student, might be looking for in an attempt to meet fresh faces while being an advocate of on-campus involvement.
If you want the bond of sisterhood, run over to rush. If you want anything to do with true love, run away. Fast.