My advice first and foremost would be, not to hook up with fellow dorm mates. I’ve made such a mistake and have ended up in a an awkward situation. That being said, I know we’re all human and sometimes desire comes between self-control and will power.
So, if you had an intimate encounter with someone in your dorm and now you’re either: (A) attached beyond reasonable doubt or (B) desperately hoping to dodge the dude or damsel. You better hope they share either your same feeling of attachment or a need for distance, because if not things could get uber ugly.
To figure out where you both stand, it might be best to have a sit down and talk it over.
I know, it’s not exactly ideal, but the truth is this isn’t “Sex in the City,” you can just “hit it and quit it” without having to think twice, especially when you might have to see this person on a regular basis.
So, if sprinting through the halls in a hoodie and sunglasses doesn’t appeal to your lifestyle, confrontation is your best bet.
If the sparks you’re feeling want to burst out every time you’re caught in the elevator together, then don’t be afraid to express your feelings.
If your eyes have turned heart-shaped and your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest, it might end in a big blow to your ego, but wouldn’t you want to know where the other person stands?
The worst that could happen is he or she confirms they’re just not that into you. In that case, order up a chick-flick marathon with a side of Kleenex and move on.
After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea. There are plenty of matadors that could be your match, right?
You don’t want to waste your time swooning and longing for someone who has moved on. But maybe you’re not too savvy with confrontation.
In that case, use plan B: send your roommate, turned spy to do the dirty work. Odds your roommate might know the person too, considering the close proximity.
All your roomy has to do, is bring you up in casual conversation and voilá, you’ve got your answer as to whether or not you’re in relationship station or skidding off the tracks entirely.
Let’s say you wish you could take it all back, that reality didn’t live up to your fantasy and they won’t stop texting or passing by your room at five minute intervals.
Again, I would take initiative to talk it out. They deserve an explanation and you deserve solitude from their stalker-like tendencies as soon as possible.
You can’t avoid the building you live in and you certainly can’t avoid where you sleep.
For all the shy types out there who hate the idea of verbal communication, texting or e-mail might be another way to go.
But, those aren’t the safest or smartest ways to relay your concerns, when all someone has to do is press print, copy or forward to make your problems public.
You could try the old-fashioned yet still widely practiced “just ignore them until they get the hint” tactic. Still, not the most effective.
What if you’re one of the lucky ones and you and your love interest are on the same page? You both had a great time and have been texting ever since?
Then all you have to worry about is privacy.
You live in the same building, your doors could be facing each other, you might even be able to hear each other’s phone conversations through the wall.
So, just be careful, take things slow without smothering each other’s personal space.
All in all, dormcest is a tricky concept. There are many opportunities for things to go terribly wrong or terrifically right. It’s ultimately up to you how to approach the situation, if at all.
Either way, can’t say I didn’t warn you.