Don’t let long distances change your relationship

Illustration by Jennifer Luxton/A&E Editor
Illustration by Jennifer Luxton/A&E Editor
Illustration by Jennifer Luxton/A&E Editor

Long distance relationships aren’t the easiest. It’s hard being away from your significant other, and there is a lot hard work that goes into maintaining a long distance relationship.

Not to mention the doubts that come with it. Long distance relationships take a good deal of effort from both parties to work. With classes, work and living situations, you might even find it difficult to connect with a partner who lives on the other side of the city.

However, openness, honesty and communication, as with most relationship situations, are the keys to making this work.

Many worry when in a long distance relationship, or contemplating a long distance relationship, that the other person may change or that the two will drift apart. If your partner shifts into someone that you no longer like, or it becomes a relationship that is not worth the effort, then it might be time to end it.

However, change is completely natural. You may see signs of a drift because there is an element to the relationship that wasn’t there before: distance. We are shaped by our environments and experiences, so if the two of you are doing new things without each other, it only makes sense that you’d develop as two different people.

It is important to be honest and clear with your significant other if you start to feel this way. If both parties are shy or deceptive about their feelings, then no one really wins.

It is also crucial that you make an effort to make each other a priority in each other’s lives. Taking the steps to make sure your relationship doesn’t take the back burner will make all the difference.

In this day and age, we are fortunate enough to have a world of technology at our hands. With Facetime, text messages and Skype, we are able to connect with people now more than we ever have before. Although nothing can replace physically being there with that person, being able to see their face and hear their voice is a pretty close second.

Make sure to find a communication method that is easy and preferable for the both of you. You don’t want communication to become chore or obligation.

Checking in with your partner can become an opportunity to discuss new feelings and experiences. Having clear communication is extremely important and being on the same page is priority number one.

It is crucial to have these “check-up” conversations because these will give you an opportunity to share any concerns or doubts, as well as the positive of course.

If you find that the drift becomes too wide a gap to fix, don’t settle. When you feel that you are compromising your own happiness, then the relationship may not be worth the effort that you are putting into it. Every relationship is hard work, but if you aren’t getting any real satisfaction from it, don’t convince yourself to stay.

Often time apart can make you appreciate the other person for everything they are and everything the both of you share. However, don’t let it become a cleaver that lets you leave each other behind.