An ex is an example of what you don’t want, an explanation of who’s not good for you and an exception to the rule you broke dating them in the first place.

The big question is, can you get over your ex and how? The real answer is yes. Despite how hard, how in love and how much you’ve convinced yourself you need them in your life it’s possible. Here’s six steps how:

Step 1: Reevaluate yourself, your interests, goals and wants. Learn more about yourself in an effort to being a better you, not just for your next relationship.

Step 2: Let yourself grieve, but moping in the house and being antisocial never helped anybody. Take two to three days of crying and hating the world, and then be proactive and surround yourself with a healthy support system. Go out with your family, friends, and even the friends you forgot about being consumed in your what you thought was a forever relationship. Be social, meet some new people and distract yourself, because the more distractions you have, the less time you have to think about your ex, and all the memories of them. Head over to Dave & Buster’s and channel your inner kid with tons of new school and throwback arcade games, or even get enough courage to grab a microphone at TGI Fridays on Wednesdays for karaoke, and sing your heart out.

Step 3: Comfort foods. Who doesn’t love some good food? Especially food that makes you feel better one bite at a time. Eat your heart out and indulge because food is the key to anyone’s heart. Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, and if you don’t like chocolate, pizza and french fries do the trick.

Step 4: Spoil and pamper yourself. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and let yourself go after a breakup. Take yourself out on a date, whether its to dinner or the latest movie. Treat yourself to shopping. Get those new shoes you’ve been eyeing for months, those highlights you’ve been dyeing to put in your hair and the latest edition of NBA 2K or Grand Theft Auto, because your birthday isn’t the only day you can splurge.

Step 5: Discard anything associated related to your ex. Gifts, random borrowed articles of clothing left at your house, friends and, sadly even their family. You can’t move on if you’re still constantly reminded of your ex, even if that means cutting ties with people you still care about. Pack up those boxes of sentimental items that no longer have meaning, head to the nearest consignment store and drop off all your troubles. Delete the numbers, photos and messages, because going back has never been the next stop.

Step 6: Forgiving your ex and finding closure. You can’t move on with someone else if you’re still stuck on your ex, and everything they did to and or for you. Bringing your past into your present will hurt more than hinder your next relationship.

Getting over a break up doesn’t happen over night, but these six steps will be a positive start to help you through it.