When it comes to love and relationships, your parents’ enthusiastic motivation of “never give up” and “never say die” might leave you with nothing more than a restraining order.
So, for everyone who doesn’t view a 200-feet stay away court order as a sign of true love, it might be time to take a hint.
I am not sure what it is about some people who refuse to see the signs and accept that the person they are trying to pursue is just not interested. The signs vary from being sensitively subtle, to overtly demanding. They can vary from a polite, “I’m busy tonight,” to an expression of utter disgust and annoyance, mixed with a roll of the eyes. But for anyone who might have had some question about it, here are some sure signs to tell when it is time to back off and, well, take a hint.
Let’s say you decide to strike up a conversation with that very attractive person walking in front of you on campus. You begin what you believe is a very interesting conversation about how you don’t use deodorant because you are ‘Oh so European’ and find that you are having difficulty keeping up with your interest as you walk to class. The person speeds up when you slow down, and slows down when you speed up. Better take the off-ramp, because this is going nowhere.
If while you are studying at the library you find yourself staring at the person at the next table longer than at your class notes, make sure to read the signs carefully. If the person seems to be more interested in their book about the mating habits of the African singing monkey, your chances at love are none. Check out the library’s self-help book isle on dealing with rejection.
Let’s say you already made it past the first obstacle and you have gone out on a date. You believe the date went great, and can’t wait to call and find out what they thought about the date and when you are going out again. So you call, and call, and call, and call, but there is no answer. So you call, and call, and call again, but to no avail. If there was any chance at romance, you blew it before it could even blossom. No one likes to call back when they see 13 missed calls. Hang up and make sure you don’t dial again, because what could have been a love connection was disconnected by your incessant behavior.
If your love interest runs toward their car when he or she sees you, the person is not playing hard to get. If their responses to your attempts at conversation are limited to no more than two words, it is not because they like the sound of your voice and want you to keep talking. A slap on the face is not a “love tap,” and asking for your class notes is not an invitation to stalking.
If you have been going out with someone for some time and they mention that they want to see other people, this means they already are, and this does not include you, so don’t try.
Or perhaps your sweetie-pie said it’s over, but it’s not you, it’s them. Your paths are headed in different directions, and you have emotionally grown apart. This means it’s you, they are sick of you, they’re tired of you, and they want to be with someone who does not remind them of you. Move on. It’s you.
If your love interest always finds a way to mention in your conversations that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, on the other hand, this does not necessarily mean they have one. What it does mean is that if they had a boyfriend, they would ask him to beat you senseless until you no longer had the ability to recognize faces. If they are saying they have a girlfriend but they really don’t, it means that the possibility of dying alone is better than going out with you. Please, back off for your own good.
So when you jump into that jungle that is the dating world, remember the fact that even Napoleon knew retreat was the best option. Step back, admit defeat, and keep in mind that a restraining order is not the equivalent of a Hallmark card on Valentine’s Day.