Being the single one of my girlfriends, I always seem to witness the same occurrence whenever someone suggests that we have a girls’ night out.
Every couple of months, one friend will state that we need a night away from the guys, usually at a club so we can go drink and dance. And every time, the same responses seem to arise. “Let me ask my boyfriend if it’s OK,” or “Let me see what he is up to that night.”
Excuse me? When did having a boyfriend become like having a parent? If the guys do say it’s OK, one of them inevitably ruins the night. One of my girlfriends always decides to call her boyfriend either in the middle of our fun or at the end of the night, and every time, the same result occurs. The guy gets jealous, throws a tantrum and picks a fight.
I am not putting all the blame on the guys either. Most of my girlfriends have the same jealousy issues when their boyfriends go out. I’m just not sure any of the guys allow for the girls to ruin their night.
I can’t say all my friends’ relationships are like this. Some have great relationships with so much trust that they are actually allowed to decide for themselves when they will or will not have a night away. And others could simply care less about their guy throwing a jealousy fit.
But my suggestion is, if your partner wants to go to a club with friends, let him or her do it. Jealousy is only going to push the person farther away. And the chances of your partner meeting some quality person at a club are slim-to-none, and they know that. They are simply out to have a good time. So let them.
The club scene is the ultimate singles’ market. It is the place where many alcohol thirsty, hook-up craving 20-something singles meet in the midst of good dance music, strong drinks, and creepy 40-something singles with open silk shirts.
So, why would anyone step into a club if they are in a healthy relationship?
It’s true, I can remember plenty of times when friends and I would make a trip to club with the sole purpose of “hooking up” or getting a number.
So, when some of my friends have entered good and healthy relationships, their significant others have made it a point to state that clubs are strictly prohibited. After all, why should they be fishing if they have their catches right at home?
There is some validity to this argument.
When it comes to the club scene, it is also apparent that there are some differences between the sexes. Women, for example, might want to go to a club for the simple reason that they like to dance. A club just provides that venue. It is therefore common to see a group of a few women at a club, dancing with each other or near one another, enjoying the music without the slightest motivation to pick up a phone number.
Men, on the other hand, seem to be overpowered by their hunting and gathering instincts. With the slight exception of those men who enjoy to dance (ladies, trust me, they do exist), most men go to clubs merely for the reason that it is the prime hunting ground to gather as many phone numbers as possible. Granted, this does not yield the best, healthiest, or most stable of relationships, but that does not seem to be the point at the time.
But for all those couples who tend to let jealousy get in the way — relax! A relationship that can only remain when it is not tempted, is not worth having.