The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

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He said/she said: Friends with your ex

He Said:

The bottom line about good relationships is that they are hard to end, what comes after? Can you stay friends after the relationship ends. I say yes, but it all depends.

If you were friends before the relationship began, then being friends after the relationship is over is a strong possibility. If there was any sort of real connection between two individuals that understand the fact that experience together is time spent, then those two individuals should never forget to remember that before you were lovers, you were friends.

There are the lovers that don’t understand this fact and simply call it quits when the time comes. This is unnecessary. Unless the relationship was purely physical, there should be some sort of innate incentive to stay and be there for that person that you’ve made a connection with when they will inevitably need you.

If on the other hand you met through a chance one night stand and tried to build a strong relationship on unstable ground, then things are bound to fall apart. Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and lust and we should not be surprised when they come full circle and end for the same reason they began.

f there was cheating involved, even if it doesn’t surface for years after the relationship is over there is no excuse.

Being in a relationship, good or bad, is a learning experience. You can’t unlearn what you have been taught or forget those that have altered your life. But what you can do, if you’re lucky and you feel the need, is to stay friends and be there for each other. But do not assume, underneath the nerve ending drama that there is hope for a continuation of a future relationship.

In situations such as these it is important to use logical thought and not be consumed by your heart and the emotion that it may or may not evoke.

With love and friendship, it’s important to never forget to remember and never remember to forget.

She Said:

I’m sure just about everyone has experienced the moment in a relationship when you realize that it simply is not going to work out. While the relationship may be over does this mean that you have to completely remove this person from your life forever or is there any chance of remaining friends after all of this?

Before the decision can be made on whether or not to be friends after the relationship there has to be plenty of time to get over what once was and accept the fact that it’s over. Go through whatever healthy post break-up routine you have. Whether it’s the listening to Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” over and over again or hiding out in your house for a few weekends. It is not possible to proceed as friends if there are any lingering feelings of resentment or expectations of getting back together. Once both parties in the relationship have taken the necessary time get over it I think friendship is ultimately possible in most cases, after all your ex did play a significant role in your life for months or maybe even years.

While things didn’t workout there are obviously qualities that you liked about the person and it is fitting to want those same qualities in a friend. The things that caused problems should not be much of an issue since you are just friends. Keep in mind that friendship will not work for every situation. There are certain people who are simply incapable of handling their new role of being a friend. These are the people who probably treated you bad and were inconsiderate and disrespectful in the relationship anyway. Also be mindful of the ex who tosses the idea of being friends out as if it is some consolation prize since you didn’t make the cut.

While it may not be the easiest thing to accomplish at first it is possible to be friends with an ex. It is critical to get over the past and establish new boundaries in order to have a successful platonic friendship.


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