It used to be that when a man was interested in a woman he would ask her out on a date.
All that has changed.
From my experiences, along with those of my friends, I have realized that many people are skipping the traditional dinner date and heading straight to the backseat. Dating has morphed into hooking up, where you only get to know the person on a physical level.
The definition of hooking up differs between people, but the scope of the idea involves having a physical relationship with someone without all the emotional baggage. To some people, hooking up could mean strictly making out, and to others it could mean sex.
Most men tend to forget the conventional approaches that were used by their predecessors to get the affection of a woman, and have created their own unusual, rather sex-crazed means to get the girl. In addition, many women are forgoing the pleasures of a romantic relationship for the physical comforts of a hook-up buddy.
My best friend and I were having lunch last Thursday when this subject came up. I was telling her about the latest man in my life, when she brought to my attention the discussion she had in her sociology class about the unfortunate transition from dating to hooking up amongst our peer group.
In the society we live in, men are not as inclined as they were in the past to want to pursue a serious relationship with a woman. It takes more effort to romance a woman than it does to hook up with them. In addition, more and more women in society are focused on their professional goals and put romance on the back burner.
My friend also mentioned how patience has become an unfamiliar virtue in society as opposed to a practicing medium. We’re consumed with the idea of instant gratification that we don’t want to stop and enjoy what’s in front of us.
The fact of the matter is nothing good can come out of hooking up. As much as people like to admit they don’t mind being in a situation that’s purely physical and they’re glad there aren’t any emotional strings attached, after a while it gets complicated. How long can you go on with the situation before you or the other party involved starts feeling something other than physical satisfaction?
On the flip side of the argument, the reasons for choosing to have a person to hook up with rather than be committed to can seem intriguing. In the crazy world we live in where we juggle five things at once, the time to designate for being in a relationship may be nonexistent. People want to seek some form of comfort from the chaos in their life, and that is where the hook up situation comes in. However, as fulfilling as the situation may be, the cons for having a hook-up buddy completely outweigh its pros.
About a year ago, I met a guy in a class that I thought was rather attractive. Six weeks into the class he sat next to me and sparked up a conversation. He asked me to hang out after class. Then he asked me to coffee that night. He seemed to be interested.
One day after class, we were listening to music in his car when he leaned in and kissed me. Before I knew it his hands were traveling all over me. My brain finally registered what was going on and I stopped him. An hour later I got a text message from him saying he didn’t have time for a relationship and if we weren’t going to have sex then he wasn’t going to stick around. I was shocked by his blatant honesty and thought he was kidding. That was the last time I ever heard from him.
As much as people like to tell themselves they’re too busy to be in a committed relationship, they’re obviously not that busy to have a hook-up buddy. From my assessment it appears that men and women need to evaluate where they are in life before they jump into a potentially disastrous situation.
