One sex educator is on a mission to educate college students in a lecture titled, “The J-Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All,” which he presented March 27 at the University Student Union’s Northridge Center.

Jay Friedman began the performance lecture by informing his audience about the many aspects of sex education they may not have learned about in high school.

“Sex is good. It’s what we learn about sex that isn’t good,” he said.

Friedman, who learned about sex education when he was in the 10th grade, said the information provided to students in the U.S. is abstinence-only curriculums.

Friedman said the scare tactic is used on adolescents to prevent them from having sex. They tell students that sex is a bad and that negative things will happen if they do it, Friedman said.

“Instead, it leaves us ignorant and confused,” Friedman said.

Amy Reichbach, health educator at the Klotz Student Health Center, said about Friedman’s teaching method, “If you make it fun and funny, people will pay attention to it.”

After his introduction, Friedman told the audience there are three conditions to meet in order to have sex with another person.

First and foremost, one must affirm the person, “which means being able to do it with the lights on,” Friedman said. “We all too often use alcohol as a social lubricant.”

The second step is to accept responsibility in the form of birth control and the final step is to assure mutual pleasure, he said.

Most of the sex education available targets women, and it does not provide enough attention on the male side of the topic, Friedman said.

The next segment of his lecture focused on the male aspect of sex education, specifically the three big pressures men face.

Friedman called the first pressure “locker room talk,” in which men engage in a type of conversation that is focused on “scoring,” rather than the emotional aspect of sex.

The second pressure Friedman spoke about was homophobia, which is the fear of being perceived as gay. Men feel they have something to prove, and they as a result put pressure on girls to have sex, Friedman said.

The third pressure Friedman presented aroused a deep-hearted laugh from the audience. Friedman discussed the myth of “blue balls,” a term he described as the sensation men feel when they are sexually aroused and feel they are going to die if they don’t ejaculate, Friedman said.

“If this were true, you’d hear explosions all throughout Northridge every night,” Friedman said. “No one should be expected to finish the other off.”

Men have erections all the time and they live to tell about it, Friedman said.

Friedman set up a male-only peer education program at his alma mater, Cornell University, titled “How to Be a Better Lover,” because men did not receive adequate sex education.

Americans live in a country that does not promote open communication about sex, Friedman said.

“Our Puritan values kind of hold us back,” said Nathan Archuleta, a cinema and television arts major. “The only thing that saved us was Planned Parenthood.”

Archuleta went to a co-ed private Catholic high school in Albuquerque, N.M. where they had an abstinence-only program.

“An abstinence-only approach only cripples us even more,” Friedman said.

Countries in Europe are more open-minded about the subject of sex and sex education, unlike the U.S., which that focuses on abstinence-only programs, Friedman said.

Friedman told a story about when he was in Sweden 17 years ago, riding the EuRail when someone handed him a passport which contained a piece of literature inside about sex. The Swedish government arranged to hand the pamphlets out to the public.

Americans live in one of the most sex-phobic societies, Friedman said.

“Do you think Amtrak is giving out things like these?” Friedman asked.