Students should hold off serious relationships until after college

Anthony Graham

The life of your average college student is as busy as ever. I’ve been told that my workload will never get any lighter, especially as I get pulled deeper and deeper into the real life pressures that make up the everyday routine of the “real world.” I believe that.

But I also believe that this time in college represents a chapter in my life where my attentions will be the most segmented they’ll ever be-that never again will I be pulled in so many directions at once, responsible for satisfying such a wide array of jobs, tasks, and duties. For this reason I, along with other like-minded college students, tend to avoid serious relationships. For some, doing so isn’t just a preference-it’s a necessity.

Now this isn’t to say that you can’t make a relationship work. I know sometimes, when two people work hard enough, they can make it work despite the circumstances. For most though, there are three undisputable reasons to avoid a serious relationship, short of finding your one true love (if you buy into that sort of thing).

1.Time is finite: Alarming, isn’t it? You have bills to pay-college tuition, car payments, rising gas prices, living expenses and hopefully some money set aside for the occasional luxury. This means you have a job. And in order to make enough money you work at least 20 hours a week-AT LEAST. Of course, you also have about 12 units of classes-hours of homework on any given night too. Not to mention the time you spend with other activities-you play a sport, are in a band, who knows? The point is you probably have a hobby. When it is all said and done, how much time do you have to be the boyfriend or girlfriend you should be? Dating around gives you the option of being the attentive partner one week, while allowing you the freedom to completely blow people off the next should you feel the need. Staying out of a serious relationship, until you can devote the time and energy it deserves, isn’t just about making your busy schedule manageable-it’s about considering the feelings of the would-be boyfriend or girlfriend you’re likely to neglect.

2.Dating around is fun: And that’s no lie. If the college experience is about anything, it’s about experience! It’s four years of meeting new people, doing new things, and learning as much about yourself as you do about your major. So why pin yourself down to just one person? If you like someone, date him or her. And then, date someone else you like. You owe it to yourself to see what’s out there-to enjoy every party, every club scene, and everything else you can without being responsible for the feelings of another person. This brings us to?

3.You’ll never have a better opportunity to be selfish than RIGHT NOW: Don’t take this one the wrong way. There is a difference between being straight out rude to people because you’re socially inept, and putting yourself first. But college is the best position you’ll ever be in, probably for the rest of your life, to think about YOUR best interests before anyone else’s. When college is over, it’ll mean serious commitments in a variety of ways. Your career will take precedent, or maybe you’ll end up getting married down the road, or both? Never mind having kids, your life is certainly no longer completely your own when that happens. College doesn’t have to be the best years of your life, but it will probably be the best years you’ll have to yourself-and a relationship is going to create a significant dent in all that “me” time.

Relationships are doable. But in the end, it better be a worthwhile one. It’ll take sacrifice, time and energy to do it right. Do yourself a favor, and hold off on all that serious business for as long as you can.