Love Therapist

Love Therapist

Sheree Jones-Pistol

We asked our readers to send in questions about love and Sheree Jones-Pistol answered them! Jones-Pistol holds a Master’s degree in Psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in student counseling in Northridge. She has served as an academic counselor with the Los Angeles Unified School District for eighteen years while growing her private practice.


Q: My fiancé is very protective and gets jealous of any guy who looks my way. I am sure he trusts me because he never checks my phone or doubts me or any of that toxic stuff, but he thinks every man wants to steal me from him. It has been less than a year together and we are already engaged. Every single argument we have had has been about him thinking some other guy wants me. I have been single my whole life and he’s the only man I’ve been with, so I don’t know if this is normal boyfriend/fiancé behavior?

A: Some people have experienced relationships that have caused them to mistrust others. It sounds like this has nothing to do with you specifically. Since this behavior could intensify over time, I would suggest you both locate a couples therapist.

 

Q: My relationship has gone amazingly well so far. We have been together for over a year, and are planning on moving in and starting a life together. I am excited and in love, but as I grow more and more in love with him I get more nervous of the idea of it not working out and what that would look like. Is it normal to get anxious just because we are growing such a deep connection? Is it that I don’t want to lose him or am I afraid of getting vulnerable enough that losing him hurts more than I can take?

A: Moving in together is a giant step. You lose privacy and must consider another person in everything you do. Your nervousness is very normal. Communication will be critical for both of you.

 

Q: Can you tell me how to be open and honest about being non-monogamous/polyamorous when family and public judge[?]

A: Protect yourself and only share this intimate information with those you trust implicitly. The world can be a nasty place sometimes.

 

Q: My partner is amazing and perfect on paper. I love him so much and he treats me amazingly, but sometimes I just go through times where I wonder if I am just settling for him because he’s so good to me. I do love him but sometimes I find myself thinking I’m bored with the relationship.

A: If you already have thoughts of boredom, these will only worsen over time. You may want to take a break and explore other social opportunities as you learn more about yourself and what you need.

 

Q: Is there ever a real chance at a healthy relationship with somebody that abused you? Can you heal where you got hurt or is it a form of Stockholm syndrome?

A: A healthy relationship with an abuser can only take place after they decide to participate in regular therapy to work on their issues; otherwise, we can expect continuous occurrences of domestic violence.

 

Q: How do we find the most genuine love without forgetting who we are?

A: Self-love and respect are essential, and we must maintain boundaries for protection. Finding someone to love A who respects these boundaries should result in a healthy relationship