Ex’s—The majority of us have them, and hate them for various reasons. The biggest reason being that they were a person you cared for and it didn’t work out for whatever reason— So screw them. But when these people pop up, as most of them do, what do you do?

For some of us the answer would be as simple as RUN AWAY! The late night “I miss you” text isn’t worth whatever it was you went through when you broke up.

For others, that text brings back old memories of snuggling up under blankets, sharing parts of yourself you kept away from others, laughter, and happiness.

You forget about the fights you used to get into, and the trust you never had. You think that everything could “work out for you two this time”.

And maybe it will, but more often than not, all of the things you blocked out come rushing back to the forefront of your brain. You remember why it didn’t work in the first place, even though you desperately wanted it to, and now you’re stuck with the heartache of having to let go again.

I have recently discovered that when it comes to my own life, I am the Queen of Chances. I give out second, third and fourth chances—like I was Oprah giving out cars.

I’m not sure why I do this but I like to believe that people can be better—That even though I knew from day one that he would bail in the end, he could grow and learn to stay.

I was always so confused as to why I did this. I’m a smart girl, have a moderately decent head on my shoulders, and I know when people are wrong for me but I’m attracted to them anyways.

My friend showed me an article on Elite Daily titled: Why Every Girl Has That One Guy She’ll Always Go Back To. I read through it and a lot of it made sense. Not in a logistical way but in an emotional one because I am an emotional thinker. But I still didn’t understand what made me want to give any old relationship another shot. However, when I read this section everything clicked:

“He’ll hurt you time and time again, but the pain seems worth it

You wouldn’t go back and put your hand on the stove again, or take another freezing cold shower — but you’ll go back to that pain.

You’ll inflict it on yourself time and time again. You tell yourself it’s worth it, that this is what it feels like to be in love.

But when you finally do fall in love with the right person, you’ll realize that love is the antidote to your pain. Only real love with the right person will heal the wounds this man left. ”

Going back sometimes is inevitable, you feel like that person was your one true love, like there was no one else that could make you feel the way they did, and you’re right.

There will never be another person that makes you feel that same way, there will be one that makes you feel better—Like you can accomplish anything and overcome any obstacle.

But if you keep going back to the person that let you down, you will never be able to find the one that will build you up.

Remember that the next time you see “i miss you” pop up on your screen.