Sex jokes: Not too crude, but still a little dirty

Daily Sundial

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Everyone loves a good sex joke, right? Well, I took the liberty of searching for a few that might make you chuckle while you’re sitting through an hour-long lecture or walking to your next class. Once you’ve read through these and find a burning desire to continue, go to www.lotsofjokes.com or grab the “The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes,” compiled by H. Aaron Cohl, where you’ll find much more on sex jokes as well as other fun topics. Now, keep in mind that we must still keep these jokes somewhat clean, so I must give a fair warning. Remember, I was careful in my selection so what you may find in either of these places may be a lot more rude and crude.

Q. What do Disney World and Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

A. They don’t stop for directions.

Q. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?

A. They don’t have time.

Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is? A. Eight something.

Q. Three words to ruin a man’s ego… A. “Is it in?”

Q. What’s the problem with oral sex?

A. The view.

Q. What’s the difference between love and herpes?

A. Love doesn’t last forever.

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What is the difference between “Oooh!” and “Aaah!”? A. About three inches.

Q. What is the lightest thing in the world?

A. A penis ….even a thought can raise it.

Q. What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot? A. Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.

Q. What’s the difference between sin and shame?

A. It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.

Q. Why is air a lot like sex?

A. Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Q. Why do many women fake orgasms?

A. Because many men fake foreplay.

Q. Have you heard about the new ‘Mint flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called ‘Predickamints’

Q. What’s the difference between Mad Cow disease and PMS? A. Nothing.

Q. What’s the best thing about a man receiving oral sex?

A. Five minutes of peace and quiet.

Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

A. A Bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, goes to bed. A Married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

Diana Gutierrez can be reached at spotlight@sundial.csun.edu.