No love lost for the pathetically weak and needy , he said

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In the great scheme of “human leverage,” which pits the varying levels of dignity, perceived self-worth and confidence of two people against each another, the needier person in any romantic relationship always gets the shaft, and perhaps deservedly so.

I’ve been the needy guy in a relationship. It’s painful. It’s no fun. You find yourself either making insane phone calls at insane times to a person you’re not sure even likes you, or desperately thinking about making insane phone calls at insane times to a person you’re not sure even likes you. You feel like a shmuck 84 percent of the time.

Better yet, I’ve been in relationships where the other person would be defined as “the needy one.” The frustration grows and grows, as you cannot figure out why this person is so desperately infatuated with you. You’re a jerk, you tell yourself – why would they be interested in meaningful human contact with you? You’re an independent cat, and you don’t need the weight of a needy soul holding you back from greatness. Screw that!

But anyone who’s been in both situations, who understands that human leverage is more of a consequence of upbringing and not a chosen lifestyle, can sense that compassion is the name of the game here. I’ve come to realize that thinking myself above the needier of the needy of my potential love-buddies won’t get me anywhere. If I find myself in a relationship where that’s the case, that’s partly my own fault. Sadly, it’s taken me six years of “dating” to figure this out. A tear falls.

All we can do is screen our love-buddies a little better and be willing to jump ship if things get too uncomfortable. But sticking with it for months and months, all the while talking to my guy friends about how “lame this chick I’m dating” is, gets me nowhere.

I know because I’ve done it-too many times.