After relationship, no communication is often best


Here is a word of advice from me to you, my dear readers. This piece of advice is directed specifically to those of you who have recently had the misfortune of having a relationship come to an end.?The advice is this: Take some time to be sad and indulge yourself with grief.?We all have to do that. ?Then, GET OVER IT.

Why do I write this? Because I think it’s necessary, and I think it’s necessary based on personal experience. ?If you are involved in a crappy, miserable relationship, it will probably be over soon. ?When it’s over, don’t look back. In fact, run the other way, as though the very fires of Hades were under your backside. Because chances are, your miserable ex-partner will be even more miserable without the company that sentiment loves so much, and they will want you back, if for no other purpose than to continue the mutual torture that is now suddenly absent. ?They will call you, e-mail you, text message you, then ultimately they may come to your door with an engagement ring.

You must be prepared to resist the enemy’s tractor beams. Remember, you guys broke up for a multitude of reasons, all very good ones.

Okay, I’ll admit, I can afford the luxury of being a little more glib about this scenario than most people can, because soon after my ex broke things off, I was lucky enough to find one of the few decent men in the world who makes me happy, and also because I happen to have a couple of protective brothers, one of whom is a black belt, looking over my shoulder.

Despite these securities, the fact remains that the scenario I experienced was beyond awkward. In fact, it was nearly unendurable. ?

It was basically like a scene from an extremely low-budget, poorly-acted soap opera on public-access cable. ?There I was, in my front yard, all my siblings peeking out from behind the curtains, when this guy pulled from his pocket the ring, from which I recoiled as though he had pulled out a slimy swamp ooze. ?Please keep in mind, for added incomprehensibility, that HE had broken up with ME.

This is something no one should attempt. As a general guideline, you should only give rings or expensive jewelry of any kind to someone you are ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH, and usually only if the relationship is going well. ?

If the relationship is not going well, or is in fact a complete and spectacular failure, rest assured that expensive jewelry will not mend it, so save your pennies for something that you can actually use, like a nifty collection of Star Wars figurines, or a used car.?

Once you break up with someone, continuing to aggressively pursue them makes you look stalker-like. A person can’t make your oneness with the universe complete. You ex-significant other is not part of the food triangle either. You can live without them, so start living.