“Women settle for less as I try to understand why” (in regard the Spotlight column “Women settle for less as men try to understand why,” April 18, 2006):

I swear to god. The people in your life are correct.

If you don’t know about this guy then why the hell are you dating him? I may be wrong about this entire thing and if I am, then don’t read this and delete it now.

Thanks for your time. But in case this is anywhere close to what you were saying, listen to me! I swear, if I have to watch another naive female friend of mine go and blow her innocence, time, money, feelings on another piece of crap guy I am going to vomit.

First up, the guy’s side.

The one point of view you should be holding on to is the guy point of view. Being a guy himself, and I am assuming he cares enough about you to not throw you to the wolves, he should have the insider’s perspective on what is what. If your guy friend is like, “Yeah, don’t date him, he is an ass,” you should probably listen, because, once again assuming he knows the guy and has had some contact with him, he can see through the BS that he puts up. For some reason girls are completely oblivious to guys’ charm, I don’t know why, let’s call it biology. (Same goes for guys to girls so let’s not be one-sided here.)

Second, your real true girlfriends.

They know you the best, they have been there the entire time, and even they are saying that this guy isn’t good enough for you. Now, if that is what they say to you, the one dating him, then imagine how they really feel? Most likely it’s going to be a bit harsher than, “Honey he just isn’t good enough for you,” if they know you, and they know him, and they are saying no. It’s probably a good idea to stick with that.

Third, the quote at the top of the paper?

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”

So you have decided against everything everyone around you says and you are still going to hang in there because you feel the need to be “loosely involved with someone.” I am not going to assume anything other than what that says right out, that you want to date someone that isn’t good enough for you and that you want to do it with levity. But if I didn’t take those precautions, I would call that “being a whore.” Because after all, isn’t that what a prostitute does? Just stretch the dating lines, making them a little “looser” than normal with men I’m sure their friends wouldn’t want them to take home.

Now, I’m sure I can’t express the joking manner in which I say the last paragraph in text, so if you don’t take it with some humor, it won’t go over well. I may not like your opinions, but I like your article.

– Brian Nicols