Editor’s note – Today we introduce a column that sheds light on CSUN dorm life. To protect both the innocent and the guilty we have guaranteed anonymity to the author.

This semester I am going to write the truth of what it’s like to live in the dorms at Cal State Northridge.

I am sure the first thing you want to hear about is the salacious things you assume take place wherever college students congregate.

The kind of stuff that, no, your parents definitely don’t want to hear about, the kind of thing that my dad would lock me in a religious institution for partaking in. And sure, that kind of thing happens, and of course it’s fun. Sadly, two months can pass between each such incident. You can go weeks between one sex-related incident (someone maybe or maybe not hooking up in an apartment, no one can remember for sure – and it was neither party’s apartment to begin with) to the next (waking up to two strange men in an apartment when the woman who brought them in is over at some other guy’s place). But for the most part, dorm life can be relatively normal for weeks – and then there’s a story that the whole floor will talk about.

Luckily I have tons of those stories.

This past weekend was the dorm move-in, which is the slowest weekend at the dorms, and easily the most G-rated. Your parents are there the whole time, and thus there is very little drinking. No one’s really flirting or making ill-advised yet always fun sexual decisions that they’ll regret in the morning.

Thankfully, after the parents leave and everyone kind of gets comfortable with the new roommates, everyone can stop pretending. Everyone is wondering about the parties. Hot neighbors. Whether or not the overnight guest policy is enforced (depends on your RA). By the end of the weekend you’ll have had multiple conversations about sex, loud conversations that you only realize everyone else on the floor could overhear 30 minutes after you finished shrieking about it all. And depending on the words used in such conversations, the people next door will come over and write things all over the sheet on your door introducing your roommates – and congratulations, you’ve found your first sex partner of the year. You’ll later avoid that person, but next weekend will be good enough that you won’t even care about all the future awkwardness.

But sadly, this kind of thing is few and far between. What happens far more often are drives into Santa Monica, random drinking that you will definitely regret in the morning, and weekly “Grey’s Anatomy” viewing parties (I swear it must be a law by now that all twentysomething women – and a lot of men – must watch the show). You’ll have the awesome conversations and eventually, if you’re lucky, you’ll be the best of friends, which definitely helps the living situation. For the most part, dorm life is a lot like high school – but now you’re out of your parents’ house, and at least one of you can buy alcohol. Like in high school, you have good talks and “South Park” or “Sex and the City” marathons. Unlike high school, you’ll probably mess around with more people, and this time you’ll do your laundry with the fear that they’ll be the next person to walk in. That’s always fun.

Dorm life can be mundane and fun at the same time – it all depends on the company you keep. You can have the best time doing nothing if you’re with awesome people.

Then there’s the random bout of debauchery, which will make your week and – yes – provide you with an awesome dorm story.