Can love between two people “grow” or “diminish” with time?
Love depends on a lot of factors. Respect, honesty, loyalty and compassion empathy to name a few.
Like everything in the universe, love too undergoes various changes.
Yes, it grows, and it diminishes too.
It gets stronger and deeper as time goes by while on the other side it gets weaker and sometimes just fades away.
There are so many couples that live like perfect strangers under the same roof, each seeking out someone else to “love.”
So many “dead” relationships linger because there is no love any more.
The fierce intensity felt in the first flush of love mellows down to a comforting warmth as a relationship strengthens.
There are times when there is no love at all, just the fact that you are habituated to living with the person.
We are so enamored with the word “love” and the feelings it brings and scared of change that we stick to the belief that “nothing must change” and don’t let go to our “dead relationships.”
Would a parents, who have been abandoned in their old age, continue to love their child like they did before?
Would a spouse continue loving the other like they did before if they were abused or cheated on or their trust was broken?
As I see it, love is love only when two people feel it mutually. Love that is “one-sided” and never returned is not love. When you love someone and the other person does not, it would choke the other person who does not feel the same way towards you.
In a way you are emotionally and mentally arm-twisting them with your “love” in the hope that someday they may feel the same way.
“Unconditional love” is another fallacy. Yeah, in a fantasy world it works but generally giving without receiving is like feeding someone your share while you go hungry. Sooner or later when the “receiver” moves on or the “giver” is taken for granted, resentment starts setting in.
Love diminishes and love grows too. The measure of either is never felt immediately, and sometimes it is not felt at all by you, but by the other person.
Love is something that bewilders me. It fascinates and scares me because thought of being so very close to someone that there is no place to hide. To be totally open to anything the other one might say or do.
A good friend once told me that I must keep my heart open. A tender heart, he called it. So that it in a way it is always raw, to every feeling, pain and joy.
I cherished what he said that day and I have thought of that tender heart often. That feeling of my heart being at its most powerful when at it’s most raw. It is the most courageous thing I can think of: to be totally open. Not to shield oneself from anything, and to take everything and everyone as they come. It is not an easy thing to do. But I think, very simple in the end. If you just let yourself be and be honest to yourself and others.
He said that if you have doubt, you can always ask your heart.
Is the thing you think of or are about to do good for you and or others? Do good, avoid evil. With this guidance and of my own heart I live.
