The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

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Relationship drama, and an ode to the nice guys

I have always been told that a guy and a girl cannot be good friends without one, or both, of them having feelings for the other. For the most part this is true. However, there are the rare cases where this does not happen and it is not because one or the other is homosexual. Now that I think back, I realized that I have always had at least one guy best friend at every stage of my life.

As it turns out, there have been feelings involved on their part and confessions that have caught me off guard, ruining our friendship. And it never was the same again.

I was talking to a few girlfriends of mine who also have a guy best friend in their life and it seems that feelings always enter at some point.

However, it is apparent that they want a “nice guy” in their life with or without a boyfriend.

Yes, there are the really special relationships that do work out where they go back to being friends or they take it a step farther either way it works. But relationships are not a game of Barbie and Ken dolls. Instead relationships involve real people.

At least think about what you are doing before you do it. Yes, we all know about attraction but not everything is about that, or at least it should not be.

I had a hard time explaining to my mother, who is very traditional, that guys and girls can be friends for the sake of my own friendships with guys but it just seems that I have been proven wrong over and over again, except this time.

It is weird because every time I think that it is different from the last, and it turns out that it is exactly the same – just in different packaging. But really, it is different this time. My nice guy and I have been friends for a while and are really close.

I don’t think that there is a topic that we haven’t talked about.

What makes this relationship different from the rest is compatibility as buddies, our trust in each one another, providing each other with different perspectives and of course knowing where we stand.

A while ago, I received an e-mail forward discussing how the guy best friend is always there for the girl. Upon “Googling,” I discovered that it was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal by a student Fu-zu Jen.

Parts of it rang so true for me partly because at every point in my life, I have had some form of the guy friend that is described in the article.

I am guessing every gal has a guy friend who has done some (if not all) of this for her. In my case, the parts that rang true are:

“That endure hours of whining ? about what ? guys are, while disproving the very point. Those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute, beautiful, smart, funny (and) sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style? you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it… buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters?the nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due…for all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement and my gratitude go out to you.”

As soon as I read it, I thought of my best friend, who happens to be a guy, and began to wonder how many others are out there. I told my “nice guy” that he is dear to me and that I would pretty much be lost without him.

All he could say was, “Wow! I hope I can always be a “nice guy” to you.” I hope so to. And that is why it is different this time,?? because he is my nice guy, my buddy and one of the most important people in my life.

I know that feelings are feelings that you cannot control and that you cannot pick whom you like or dislike because it just happens. But why does it happen when you do not like the person back or they don’t like you back?

In my experience, it just complicates the relationship. And the people that are in the middle also get torn so that they are divided.

So much drama, and for what – an effort to hang on to a friendship that once was? Do not let feelings ruin friendships.

If you can get over it and continue to be buddies, then you know that you have a strong friendship.

I think there is a saying that says, “Boyfriends/ girlfriends will come and go, but friends will always be there.”

And that is the definition of the nice guy, is a Buddy, not boyfriend or a future boyfriend.

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