Fashion police on patrol

Guest Columnist

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C aveat (that means warning or caution): Before reading this article, please understand that I am not the fashion guru of CSUN. I have no right to tell anyone what he or she should wear or whether something is “in” or “out.”

If this article really bothers you, you care too much about what people think, and if you see me on campus, we can discuss this further. Thank you.

Now, to the good stuff. Have you ever walked around campus and wondered why people wear what they do? It’s almost as if they were put on Earth just so you could get a good laugh. I am not saying this is right. It actually is wrong to tease people, but it happens sometimes. Granted, there are some who are just clueless and have no idea that what they are wearing is offensive. Others know better. So here it is, the top eight things CSUN students wear that I do not understand. This list is unfairly tipped toward women, but hey, we are the No. 1 consumers, right?

1) Ugg boots (or some generic version of them) and skirts. I thought the purpose of the boots was to keep your feet warm, but during winter, the skirt would defeat the purpose. Wearing Ugg boots in 100-degree weather isn’t a good idea either. By the way, if you decide to get creative and make the skirt yourself, please make sure the pockets are not longer than the skirt. Also, cut off the little shreds of material at the bottom so no one knows you made it at home.

2) Sandals and socks. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why men wear sandals with their socks showing. The shoes are open-toed, which means your toes should show.

3) Scarves and tank tops. Again, if the purpose is to keep warm in cold weather, why wear a scarf and put a short-sleeved shirt on with it? Stores do sell jackets in California.

4) Apple bottoms with no apple. I know Nelly’s clothing line is becoming popular, but the pants were made to fit a certain way. If you can stand with your back to the wall and everything touches it, these are not the jeans for you.

5) Low-rise anything and love handles. Ladies, we can thank the fashion industry for this one. Somewhere along the way, they thought it was a smart idea to make bottoms as low as they could go. Since not everyone is a size two, when you wear these bottoms with a shirt that does not go to your knees, you get the dun-lap disease. Your stomach done lapped over your pants. We should try to avoid this.

6) Low-rise jeans and thongs hanging out. Again, we can thank the designers. As a woman, I know we don’t do this on purpose, but the year of the thong showing is over. Let’s either tuck them in or start wearing drawers again. You know what drawers are. They are underwear with the butt in them.

7) T-shirts that don’t agree with your personality. If you’re going to wear a “Jesus is my Homeboy” shirt, please make sure your behavior is something he could be proud of.

8) Live Strong bands without knowing the meaning. Over the past year, more and more people have been walking around with the yellow Live Strong bands around their wrists. My question is, do you really know the significance of the band, or did you buy it because it was trendy? Do you even know who Lance Armstrong is, or that he has cancer? If you’re going to wear the band, make sure you understand what it is for.