America’s brand new enemy: Merry ole’ England

Guest Columnist

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I never thought I would say this, but I think it’s time for the United States to go on the offensive. The Cold War is back on, but there’s a new enemy.

Last week, President Bush traveled to Europe to try mending fences with former allies who disagreed with the United States during the much-maligned war in Iraq. Bush sat down with leaders from Russia, Belgium, Germany, and even France. There was dialogue about the future of the European Union, and much conversation about Iran’s uranium enrichment program, something that a treaty they signed said they wouldn’t do.

But besides Iran, another country exists that both the United States and members of the EU must take seriously, and it is one much closer to both of their respective continents. This country has been a perennial rival of the French, Germans, Italians, and Austrians for quite a long time. This country was even an enemy to the United States at the time of our nation’s birth.

Referring to the war in Iraq, Bush recently told a group of U.S. soldiers, “You’re part of the history of freedom and peace. In this war, there is only one option for victory. We must take the fight to the enemy.”

Well, Iraq is not the only nation that needs our fight brought to their doorstep. If we are to preserve freedom and peace, we must take our fight across the Atlantic and set it in the lap of the Brits, right in merry ole England!

The United States and Europe have long been concerned with the development and stability of democracy in foreign countries. Russia, Cuba, Vietnam, and Iraq have all experienced the consequences of their anti-democratic leanings at the hands of American and European alliances.

England, however, has never been a democracy. The Queen still sits on high, smugly waving to the masses in direct violation of our foreign policy position. That type of arrogance simply won’t stand in the Bush drive for a “global democratic revolution.”

But England’s monarchy is far from the only problem. For example, while Iran might be capable of developing a nuclear warhead, England is most definitely capable. And while North Korea has the entire Pacific Ocean between itself and the western United States, England could much more easily get a nuke to the East Coast, which is a scary thought.

I’m sure German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder would agree that like Iran, England must say no to nukes.

Continental Europe must consider her own proximity to the United Kingdom — sounds a bit like United Soviet Socialist Republic, doesn’t it? — to be a serious threat. The UK is the only major European country to have committed troops to Iraq, and who knows what kind of potentially violent grudge they may hold against their “conscientiously-objecting neighbors.” The UK attacked the French on Belgian soil just a short 206 years ago. Who knows what they’re capable of in this technological age?

Just as during the Revolutionary War, Americans and Europeans must continue the tradition of banding together to punish those who rise against us.

And England is rising against the tide. In 2002, when the whole of continental Europe agreed to come together under the banner of a single monetary measure, the Euro, only England stood apart. Just three years later, as the Euro soundly trounces the dollar in currency markets, only the British pound is worth more. While it may cost an American terrorist group nearly $50 million dollars to acquire nuclear strength, it would only cost a British terrorist group $25 million. Poor Iranian terrorists would have to pay nearly 220 million Rials for the same access.

Through the Civil Partnership Act, passed through British legislature last November, homosexual couples will be allowed to register their commitment and receive almost the same exact benefits as married couples. This legislation stands square against years of political maneuvering by U.S. leaders to outlaw all types of affection between anyone of the same sex.

The point is that something must be done to rein England in.

England poses a serious threat to democracy, to freedom, to the American way. If we don’t act on the information we have now, we could find ourselves in a much more dangerous situation later. As Bush himself says, “Terrorists must be confronted and they must be defeated.” This is the base on which America has built herself.

Americans must unite behind our leaders to support an end to those who might someday try to wrest the chains of liberty from our cold, dead fingers. In the process, we only stand to gain European favor, and who knows, maybe they’ll support us the next time we meaninglessly attack a smaller country, like Iran.

Ryan Skinnell is a graduate student studying English.