The true difference between men and women is the price

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While walking around the mall and looking through the windows of many stores, I came to the disturbing realization that I couldn’t afford to be a woman.

Not that I am looking for any type of drastic change, but my budget, strained as it is, would never be able to take on the added expense that it takes to be a woman.

Accompanying my female friends and a few girlfriends through the mall throughout my lifetime, I never realized how expensive it is to be a woman, and how (thankfully) cheaper it is to be a man.

Maybe it is yet another imposition that has been placed on women who, through social practices, continue to get the short end of the social equality stick. Looking at the price tags of the countless products meant for women, I know that my current budget would never be able to support me had I been born a woman.

For men, for example, hygienic products are quite easy and cheap to acquire. Step into a man’s bathroom and you will find but a few basic accessories. There is a bar of soap, to wash your hands and use in the shower, as well. There is a bottle of shampoo, which is sometimes replaced by that single bar of soap when it’s time to replenish supplies. There is also the necessary deodorant stick, which for many guys has replaced the use of soap and shampoo when they are in a hurry. (Please keep in mind that I am neither advocating nor admitting any of these practices, but merely relating my observations.)

Stepping into a woman’s bathroom, however, could be an experience similar to the first time you stepped into chemistry class and saw the wide variety of chemicals at your disposal. There is shampoo, conditioner, body wash, body lotion, hand lotion, face lotion, body cleanser, face cleansers, exfoliants and a few mascaras.

All of this at a hefty price.

That is because it can’t be just any kind of shampoo or body lotion. No sir, it must be some scientific concoction similar in name to the type of drinks you buy at Jamba Juice.

Simple shampoo and conditioner, all in one, simply will not do. It must be some bizarre mixture of coconut-banana-mango rainforest delight scented with aloe-vera and kiwi moisturizing shampoo for brunettes. I don’t know wether to drink it or lather it.

Specialty bottles for blondes always seem to cost a bit more for some reason.

At any given moment, women can be wearing up to $200 worth of make-up on their face. With the cost of lipstick at about $20, plus $16 eyeliner, $15 base, plus eye shadow and blush, it’s a wonder women can afford to eat. I haven’t even used gel on my hair for more than six months since I decided to cut my hair incredibly short — efficient and inexpensive.

That’s why I must admit that I, and my budget, are relieved I am a man. No need to buy a $25 pair of underwear if it’s on sale. I’ll go ahead and buy my boxershorts — $15 for a pack of three. When guys can buy five pairs of socks for $10 and women pay $40 for each bra, I know I have it good.