Honesty is the best policy. I can pretty much guarantee the majority of people on this campus have heard this phrase at least once in their lives. I heard this phrase multiple times from my parents while growing up.

Honesty was such a valued attribute in society. Women craved a guy who was honest, as compared to the countless liars. Guys wanted an honest girl to talk to. People used to want their friends’ honest opinions. That has all changed.

To fully grasp the concept of honesty and how its value has changed, the definition has to be understood. Honesty has multiple definitions, one of them being that honesty is the quality or fact of being honest. Another definition of honesty is truthfulness, sincerity, and frankness.

People say they want honesty but what people want to hear is not the honest truth. Let’s be straight: the truth hurts. The truth is not fun to hear so people don’t want to hear it. What they want to hear is whatever makes them feel good about themselves even if that means lying to them. Instead of honesty, people want lies masquerading as the truth as long as it helps them sleep better at night.

If there was one thing that I took to heart from my parents, it was honesty is always the best policy, no matter what the situation is. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes little white lies are appropriate, such as keeping a surprise birthday party a surprise, but in most cases lies are just not the way to go.

My friends and people around me seem to think otherwise. Over the years, I have been hurt and disappointed in people when they feel they need to lie to me just so they can avoid hurting my feelings. Granted, that’s being sympathetic and protective in a way, but I feel that lying to me is hurting me more than protecting me.

Another aspect is being brutally honest. In this type of honesty, the person called brutally honest is very truthful but the truth comes out in a hurtful manner. Being brutally honest also entails that the person is blunt and straightforward.

I have been called brutally honest but it’s a compliment to me because I truly believe honesty is very important. At least, I thought it was a compliment when people told me that. I’ve recently come to realize that being called brutally honest is a nice way to say that I’m mean.

In my second year of college, I met a guy who became a really good friend of mine. If I would ask his advice on things he would let me know exactly what he thought of my situation. At times, when I wasn’t using my best judgment, he would tell me straight out what he thought without sugar-coating anything. This being my first encounter with a truly honest person, my first reaction was that he was mean but as time went on I grew to value his opinion more. The truth was hard to hear, but it turns out it helped me out in a lot of situations.

The question is: Why do people want to hear what makes them feel better about themselves as compared to what is actually good for them to hear? The only answer I could come up with was that as the years grew, sparing one’s feelings by lying to them has become more accepted in a society that once valued honesty. People used to say ignorance is bliss, but now it has evolved as a way of life.

We really don’t have good role models because everybody around people seems to lie to them, such as the government and officials. For a change, I just wish people would tell the truth. A lot of tears and worry lines could be eliminated.

Just because I am bringing the issue of honesty up front doesn’t mean that I am 100 percent honest. It’s hard to be that honest in a society like this. When revealing what you really think of a person, situation, place or thing, use good judgment. Sometimes what you think of things may not matter so much, but at times what you think may be a deciding factor in a situation.

So what it all comes down to in regard to honesty is this: Know when to open your mouth and be up front with a person. Also, being brutally honest doesn’t equate to you being mean. Know when to tell the truth and when not to say anything at all. In the end, I stand by this and say that honesty is the best policy. Just be careful how you utilize it.