Dating as a single parent

Amber Green

Hitting the dating scene as a single parent is challenging. We have to be selective when choosing that significant other not only for ourselves but for our children as well. There are so many elements we fear as a single parent, when it comes to dating.

The initial fear, is like the gut feeling one gets before they go skydiving or bungee jumping.  It’s like that scary moment of taking the first plunge. The fear of picking the wrong one.

During the selection process, we create a list of do’s and don’ts. For some, this list may be short and sweet but for others, it may be long and drawn out.

We want a mate who can be a role model to our children, employed, loving, caring, goal-oriented and who is financially and emotional stable. Every single parent has customized their list to match flaws and habits they will or will not tolerate.

We also fear that our children will not accept or like the one we choose. For me, the acceptance of my children is the most important factor when choosing a mate. But before we even make it to the step of our children liking the lucky candidate, the question is, when is the right time to introduce them to our children?

One rule that I find vital is, never bring too many partners in and out of your children lives. This will only confuse them as well as condone this type of behavior which may later be replicated in their own relationships.

The few tips I have addressed don’t cover all aspects of dating as a single parent. Everyone is in entitled to his or her own way of confronting the dating scene. Some may choose to wait until their kids have reached grade school age or even older. Others may decide to start dating when their children still young. Most of us don’t want to be alone for the rest of our lives and some may approach the experience in different ways but being wise and strong are key parts to the dating scene.

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