The top five: most erroneous political talking points

Aaron Helmbrecht

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Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity comes to our nation’s capital on Oct. 30.  I’d like to take this opportunity to lay my political cards on the table. I am what you would call a radical moderate. I’m sure many people consider that to be an oxymoron and I think that’s sad.

Now I’m normally not a big fan of protesters. My philosophy is, if you don’t like what the government is doing, try voting next time. But for too long now, fringe ideologues like Glen Beck and Ed Schultz have been claiming to speak for the mainstream of America and are using pseudo-logic to advance their agenda. What’s worse is that people are eating it up like starving sheep.

So I’ve put together a list of the top five most erroneous political talking points. If you ever hear a politician, pundit, or protester mention any of these five talking points, feel free to stop listening.

Courtesy of Michael Allen Smith/FLICKR

5. God

Number five on the list is God. Some people love to tell us what legislation God would vote for or what candidate Jesus would endorse.

Well I have some bad news for you. God is not an American citizen. He doesn’t get to vote in our elections. If he is in America, I’m sure he doesn’t have a visa which would make him an undocumented immigrant. Though in his case, I would support a path to citizenship.

Until that happens, let’s stop putting words in God’s mouth.

Photo illustration by Misael Virgen/Assistant photo editor

4.The race card

The number four spot goes to the race card. The liberal media loves to pull the race card at every opportunity they can find. In response, conservatives pull the reverse race card. And as a result, the discourse gets dumbed down.

Between Henry Lewis Gates, the Glen Beck comment about Obama’s, “deep- seated hatred for white people,” the NAACP/Tea Party spat, and the Shirley Sherrod/Andrew Breitbart debacle, I’d say the race card is just about maxed out.

Courtesy of MCT

3. Ronald Reagan

At number three we have President Ronald Reagan (R-CA). Reagan may have been an above-average president, but for some reason, modern-day Republicans still hold an almost homoerotic love for the man.

Their inter-party debates revolve around which Republican can, “Out-Reagan,” the other. Their solution to every problem is a proposal to return to the fundamental principles of Reagan.

Look Republicans, unless you’re planning on reanimating Reagan’s corpse and running zombie Reagan for president in 2012, I suggest you come up with some new ideas and let “The Gipper” rest in peace.

2. Adolf Hitler

Courtesy of MCT

Next is Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler, who was bumped up to number two due to the fact that his name has been popping up more and more since 9/11.

First Osama bin Laden was Hitler. Then Saddam Hussein was Hitler. Then Kim Jong Il was Hitler. Then George W. Bush was Hitler. Now Barack Obama is Hitler. So many people have been compared to Hitler that I almost forgot that Hitler was Hitler.

Now that we’ve reached the point where Arizona’s immigration law is equivalent to the holocaust and we’re superimposing Hitler mustaches on a black man, the Hitler comparisons have officially moved from ridiculous to just plain stupid.

1. The Founding Fathers

Courtesy of Tom Blackwell/Flickr

And the number one most erroneous political talking point is the Founding Fathers. Every time someone tries to tell me what the Founding Fathers intended when they wrote the Constitution, it makes me want to pull out a fistful of my hair.

Anyone who believes the Founding Fathers were of one monolithic mind about what the role of government should be, or shared one interpretation of the Constitution, either doesn’t know their history or they are living in their own dream world.

Just one example, Thomas Jefferson accused Chief Justice John Marshall of turning the Supreme Court into an oligarchy because of a ruling he made in a case where James Madison, the father of the Constitution, was sued over a disputed interpretation of constitutional authority.

What’s going on in America today is not tyranny, it’s the same political bickering that has been going on since the founding of our country. The only difference is that the Founding Fathers didn’t have Pre-Founding Fathers to quote when making outlandish claims against each other.  But the Founding Fathers as a whole did teach us one thing. Freedom is the right to falsely cry tyranny.