The case against procreation

Many of you probably don’t have children, yet.  Many of  you will ask yourselves whether it is better to breed or not to breed.

Partners, family, friends, tradition and instinct will pressure you to have kids. I offer the alternative argument. Consider skipping it.  Save your time and money for yourself.  For those of you who have already reproduced, this advice comes too late; I apologize.

I’m older than many of you, and I’ve observed some of my friends’ lives changed after they had children. I observed how their lives changed. In comparison, I’ve gotten to experience the advantages of married life, and I enjoy them because of our decision not to have kids.

My friends love their children dearly, and they are great parents.  But I noted the look of shock, dismay and fatigue on many of their faces as they admitted how radically their lives changed when they became parents. For some people, having children is a good choice.  But consider that having children might not make you happier or more fulfilled.

A study called “A Global Perspective on Happiness and Fertility” by the Max Planck Institute surveyed over 200,000 respondents from 86 countries, bears this out. “People seem to poorly predict how children affect their lifestyles and underestimate the costs,” according to the study.

This study also examined numerous other studies on the subject and concluded: “Most research finds either a negative or insignificant relationship between parenthood and well-being.”

Our brains are hardwired through hundreds of millions of years of evolution to make us want to reproduce.  It’s the same instinct programmed into the brains of the birds and the bees. For much of human history, this instinct served us well  children served important utilitarian purposes. We needed more members of the clan to help hunt, gather food and fight off rivals.  Then we needed more labor for farming and then for factory work.

But many of us don’t really need children any more. Machines and  robots are performing an ever-increasing number of jobs that humans used to do.  In the future, there will be less need for human labor, and fewer jobs.

There are many advantages to going childless. My wife and I enjoy far more free time to recreate, travel, exercise, engage in our hobbies or just relax compared to our friends who must care for their children. We don’t have to bother changing diapers, cleaning up ugly plastic toys,  dropping our kids off at daycare or finding a babysitter just because we want to enjoy a night on the town. We don’t have to experience the stress of worrying about our children’s emotional welfare if they come home crying,  having been picked on by a bully or a teacher.

We still feel like kids ourselves with the freedom to be spontaneous and adventurous.  If we want to wake up on the weekend and have a beer for breakfast  — no problem. If we want to run off to the park to play Frisbee after work or go for a bike ride, there’s nothing stopping us.  And keep in mind, I’ve been told by more than one new parent that your sex life may suffer some when you have a child.

As environmentalists,  we enjoy the feeling of self-satisfaction knowing we are sparing the planet a considerable carbon impact. According to a study by Oregon State University, each child born in the U.S. will likely add almost 10,000 metric tons of carbon-dioxide emissions to the atmosphere over their lifetime.  We could drive around a Cadillac Escalade, leave all the lights on and skip recycling without guilt if we wanted.

My wife and I got lucky that both of us happened to feel the same way about not having kids, and neither of our families put pressure on us to provide them with grandchildren, nieces or nephews. I encourage you to think long and hard about whether or not to have children. There are plenty of people on the planet already and the human race will survive just fine without more genes in the pool. It’s not selfish not to have kids, and think of all the fun you can have and money you can save without all that responsibility.


Disclaimer: The Daily Sundial is not responsible for comments posted on dailysundial.com. In accordance with the Communications Decency Act of 1996 the Sundial is not liable for the content of comments. By commenting, all persons posting on dailysundial.com have agreed to our comment policy. If a comment does not abide by the comment policy the Sundial reserves the right to delete comments without warning. The Daily Sundial advises persons commenting not to abuse their First Amendment rights, and to avoid comments of hate speech or encouraging violence.

  • wujisan

    My argument is simple.  How many kids in the world today don’t have families or anything at all, and how many kids are being born?  I’m pretty sure the answer is way too many.  The obvious solution here is to adopt.  That solution, however, would require a tremendous leap in human wisdom and compassion.  People are way too selfish with a strong attachment to the success of their personal gene pools, and a weak grasp of humanity as a whole family.  People confuse the functioning of hormones and pheromones with love and are slaves to their own biological processes.  Unfortunately the only way I can see this changing is for humanity to experience tremendous suffering as a result of irresponsible procreation (well underway), or for the continuation of our species to encounter an imminent threat, banding us together, or my personal favorite solution:  practice universal energy cultivation, meditate and pray for human wisdom.  Whatever exists tends to succeed itself and I’d like that to be wisdom.  With wisdom we will be better able to decide how to utilize more wisdom, which I don’t think can be said for say, intelligence which can easily lead to corruption.  “Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day, teach a man how to fish, he can eat for a lifetime.”  I believe praying for wisdom is like teaching humanity to fish.

  • VladLenin

    Not having children is a choice. Just make it before you get pregnant.

    Abortion, is not birth control.

  • BurgerLess

    Yes, by all means go on acting like you are a child for the rest of your life. It is no one’s business but your own. But in choosing that path, consider that when you get old, you will look at your partner and wonder why you are still together. When you can no longer take care of yourself, you will have to depend on the kindness of strangers. When you breathe your last breath, it will be alone. No one will attend your funeral. Your passing will go unnoticed. But you did enjoy your sad existence to the fullest.

    • David the small-L libertarian

      I’m a childfree-by-choice non-parent.  As far back as I can remember—at least since sometime in high school in the late ’70s—I knew I never wanted children.  The thought of being burdened with an infant was simply something I could never imagine.  I knew how unhappy I would be—at least for the first ten to fifteen years of raising a child.  It wasn’t worth it.

      Today I find that I’m not alone—neither literally nor in my thinking on this issue.  My longtime 50-year-old girlfriend told me that she frequently regrets having had children.  None of my closest couple friends have children and from all appearances are quite happy about their choice.  I’ve never viewed my existence as “sad.”  I think the most important relationship is the one with your spouse, not other family members, children included.

      When I pass, it will be noticed by my (presumably) surviving spouse and closest friends.  Since I have no siblings or other close family I’m the end of the line of sorts.  I don’t really care if I pass along my genes or leave behind a legacy.  Most of us aren’t remembered beyond a single generation anyway.

      • BurgerLess

        My tirade was a cautionary tale. It wasn’t meant to be mean or judgmental. The sadness of not having children is something I bear myself. 

        • David the small-L libertarian

          Fair enough; point taken.  For many, having children is something they simply must do and can’t imagine life any other way.  I hope you get your wish someday.

          And that was hardly a tirade, by the way.  ;)

    • wujisan

      Your argument is suggesting to have kids for purely selfish reasons.

    • wujisan

      Your argument is suggesting to have have kids for purely selfish (childish) reasons.

top
Take our daily poll!