Dear Bullfighters, American society is a mass of adult babies who want the future to spoon-feed them, coddle them, rock them to sleep, and pay their bills. It is time to wake up, children, take out the pacifier, climb out of the crib, rip off the diaper, fling its fecal contents right into the unblinking eye of this blatant façade of a properly functioning educational system, and give it pinkeye. Soon, in The Game of Life, along the highway during… Read more

CSUN Matadors, Students may think the government is fine and working for their best interests. THIS IS SARCASM: You do not have to find the motivation to work to change anything because we have the new messiah, the man with the plan, Barack “Yes We Can” Obama. I have complete faith in President Obama to do everything that is within his current stockbroker’s power to try to reverse this current situation. However, the real power to control money needs to… Read more

Dear CSUN Matadors, If you want to achieve change and progress, then we have to do something about it. Pro-active students can schedule walkouts, protest, stand on their deans’ lawns, and demand change with the power of their voice. Where is our voice CSUN? We live in Los Angeles, the world’s largest distribution of popular media. People listen to us, change their culture, anticipate our trends, and live their westernized existence based on understanding the sound that is coming out… Read more

Dear CSUN Matadors, Who are we in today’s era? What will past problems do to the unsuspecting ignorant future of America who is busy watching “The Hills,” instead of the hills on fire outside their Sylmar house? Where will we go when the government facility that everyone is running to for shelter is closed for a furlough day? Why will anyone help us at their job’s full valued capacity when 10 percent of their pay is cut? A state-paid firefighter… Read more

Porno movies are great because of so many reasons. The first and the most important reason to watch porn is because it puts you in the mood. It is healthy to watch porn before having sex. The second reason is that porno movies can give you great ideas about different positions.

A year ago, things were different. A year ago, drinking on the weekdays in the dorm was common. Literally, I would go downstairs to one friend’s apartment on a Monday night. It was said beforehand, “Okay, everyone must be gone by midnight, 12:30 tops, I have class tomorrow morning!” On one such evening, we all left at around 3:30, with plans for class at nine that were never actually successful.

This semester I am going to write the truth of what it’s like to live in the dorms at Cal State Northridge. I am sure the first thing you want to hear about is the salacious things you assume take place wherever college students congregate.

We had a hard time coming up for a lead for this article. We thought we would start with something funny or clever- “CSUN has made it to the pages of Time magazine!” Or perhaps, “Wow! We are advertising in a national magazine!” But this is too serious for that.