The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

The student media organization of California State University Northridge

Daily Sundial

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Combating the concept of the friend zone


friendzone2“I’m tired of being thought of as “just a friend” by so many girls. Is the friend zone forever?”

Being put in the “friend zone” is something we have all encountered at some point in our dating experience. Falling for someone only to find out that they don’t look at you the same is never easy, not to mention a blow to your self-esteem. The challenge is  getting close to someone without getting so close that you get “friend-zoned.”

My personal opinion is that the “friend zone” means very different things for different people. Some use friend-zoning as a substitute excuse for which the real answer is something a bit more hurtful, but they’re trying to spare the rejectee’s feelings.

Others legitimately don’t want to ruin the connection that you share with a new relationship that could end the friendship all together.

Regardless of the situation you are in, if someone really wanted to be with you, there would be no excuses. Period.

Many who have been put into the friend zone comfort themselves with phrases like, “nice guys finish last,” etc. Let me tell you — you are not in the friend zone because you are a nice person. Everyone wants someone who will treat them right and be that support that they need at the end of the day, so step one is realizing that there is something else hindering the connection other than you being nice. In fact, you being so nice is probably one of the reasons that your crush cares for the relationship that you do have. It’s one of your best qualities.

Being in the friend zone is challenging because you may be watching your crush date others and then hearing them report back to you about the time shared with them. However, don’t remove yourself from that person’s life because jealousy and hurt is getting the way of your friendship. Patience and a clear understanding of where the two of you are is absolutely essential to keep the relationship the two of you share intact. If you decide to stick around for this person, then you are showing them how much you unconditionally care for them.

In reference to the length of the friend zone, it really does depend on the relationship at hand. I have seen it go both ways. Some are really unable to break out of the zone they have been put in and others stick around long enough that the tide changes in their favor. As cliché as it sounds, the most important thing to remember is that you are worth someone who makes YOU feel worthy. It’s common that people in the friend-zone feel like they are not good enough because that one person doesn’t view them as relationship material. That is the furthest thing from an accurate measure of one’s self.

If a person is not willing to give you a chance outside the context of friendship, don’t sacrifice your happiness waiting around for things to change. You weren’t meant for them anyway.

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