Examining the role blow jobs play in relationships

 By
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page
Photo Illustration by Caitlin McCarrick / Staff Photographer

Photo Illustration by Daily Sundial

Intimacy is one of the most important factors in a relationship.  Being able to have sex with your partner and enjoying it is one of the key parts to have a successful relationship.

Foreplay is another important part in the beginning phases of having sex.  One of the things that seems to be certain is men love receiving a blow job during foreplay.  Some women enjoy giving one, others hate it, and some do it just to make their partner happy.

What boggles the minds of most men is why some women don’t like giving blow jobs.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years and in that time I have only given him a blowjob once.  I feel that a woman should not have to be pressured into something they don’t want to do.

There are a few reasons why I have a problem with performing felatio.  One, I was always afraid of swallowing. Another reason is if the man doesn’t like the way you’re doing it.  Sometimes it smells funny down there and often the area is a little hairy.

Recently my boyfriend has been pressuring me into giving him a blow job.  He feels I should because we’ve been together for so long.  If it escalates to a point where I would need to consistently say no, I feel it would damage our relationship.

As a man he feels if I love him I should do anything to make him happy.  Apparently most men feel the same way.  They think their significant other should do it because it makes them happy.

Women are so pressured by their significant other to do this act that they forgo their own feelings toward it and do it anyway, merely for their partner’s happiness.

Ricardo Landeros, 29, has never broken up with a woman because she would not give him a blow job, but has pressured a woman into giving him one.  He says that women need a little more persuasion when it comes to blow jobs.  Landeros believes that it’s all talk from women because eventually they’ll do it.

“Sometimes women say that they don’t want to do it because they think it’s wrong,” said Landeros. “I think that women don’t give blow jobs because they don’t like the taste.  But you’ll be surprised at how many people don’t mind swallowing.”

Daniel Cisneros, 20, has a different point of view on the issue.  He has never pressured a woman into giving a blow job.  He says that it came up many times, but it was never a task for them.

“To me some women like to give blow jobs because it is a satisfying pressure for them, and others simply don’t because they’re just not into that kind of stuff,” said Cisneros.

Fanny Cano, a junior at CSUN, has been with her boyfriend for over a year.  She has only been with one person sexually and feels that sex is an emotional connection.

Because of that, she feels that giving her boyfriend a blow job is not a connection.  Though Cano’s boyfriend has never pressured her into giving him one, she has attempted to.

“I’ve tried once for like five seconds and it was not my style,” said Cano.  “It just seems wrong to me.”

Jessica Medina, a 20-year-old CSUN student, has been with her boyfriend for over two years and feels sex is a great thing and a very important part of the relationship.

Medina has never been pressured into doing anything that she has not wanted to do, including giving a blow job.  Medina likes giving her boyfriend blow jobs because she wants to satisfy him.

Being intimate with your partner shouldn’t be about feeling forced into pleasing the other.  The person, in this case the girlfriend, should want to please.

To see a special statement from the editorial board regarding comments posted about this story, see here.


Disclaimer: The Daily Sundial is not responsible for comments posted on dailysundial.com. In accordance with the Communications Decency Act of 1996 the Sundial is not liable for the content of comments. By commenting, all persons posting on dailysundial.com have agreed to our comment policy. If a comment does not abide by the comment policy the Sundial reserves the right to delete comments without warning. The Daily Sundial advises persons commenting not to abuse their First Amendment rights, and to avoid comments of hate speech or encouraging violence.

  • Greg Sanderson

    I have no problem with the subject of this article, but the writing tastes bad in my mouth.

  • analui

    It is every boys fantasy to fill their aggressiveness. and it is a wifely duty to make the husband satisfied in making love.

  • Ants

    I don’t mean to pile on to all the negative responses, but, seriously, what the hell? I’m not trying to sound like a prude or like this article is detestable, because I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. But how about the fact that this isn’t news. Why is this in the paper? Who in the newsroom thought this was a good idea?

    I guess I’m not entirely certain, all the time, what passes for journalism these days, but if these are the types of tactics we need to resort to in order to find readers for our paper, then the Sundial is really in trouble. Whatever happened to some good ole fashion investigative reporting? How about a cleverly written article or helpful muse?

    Rather than make a Watergate/Deepthroat joke (I got many), I’m just going to point out that all we’re doing here is selling sex and stirring controversy for the sake of stirring controversy. I’m sure that this article has a place in a magazine of some kind, (it certainly is a topic of interest to many) but in the Sundial it just seems cheap and tacky. I should probably just stick to the Sports section, but way to lower the bar guys.

  • Been there, done that

    Your boyfriend needs to cut bait and find a new girlfriend. Nothing personal, but I’ve been down this road before and if it takes 4 years for one of you two to do something sexual that’s important to the other one, it’s just not going to work. Sure, you two could just gloss over it and pretend it’s not a problem, but this is eventually going to lead to his having an affair with someone who will do what he wants in bed. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. It just means that you two aren’t compatible. There are guys out there who aren’t all that interested in getting a blowjob; they just want to make out and have intercourse. That’s the kind of guy you will be successful with long-term. Good luck!

  • unexploited

    I just love giving to my girlfriend a “blowjob” (:

    Greetings from Serbia – Europe

  • Jennine

    Another ‘blow’ to CSUN’s credibility with this gem.

  • Renee

    After reading this article, there no doubt in my mind that the Sundial is an absolute JOKE of a newspaper.

    Do they just let anyone pen articles for this paper? Does anyone even proof read them for grammatical accuracy — or good quality writing and material for that matter?

    And that photograph, I have no idea why it was even included. A shot of a back of a girl’s head that contributes absolutely nothing to this already pitiful article? Why even include a photo of some girl’s head in some dude’s crotch? I think anyone needed to be shown how a ‘blow job’ is performed. Useless.

    And in response to the above comment, I am in no way a conservative or a Republican — not even close. I just cannot believe the lack of talent or tact in this ‘newspaper’ staff.

  • Renee

    After reading this article, there no doubt in my mind that the Sundial is an absolute JOKE of a newspaper.

    Do they just let anyone pen articles for this paper? Does anyone even proof read these articles for grammatical accuracy — or good quality writing and material for that matter?

    And that photograph — was that necessary? A shot of a back of a girl’s head that contributes absolutely nothing to this already pitiful article?
    Great photography skills ;)

    And in response to the above comment, I am in no one way a conservative or a Republican. I just cannot believe the lack of talent or tact in this newspaper staff…

  • Mani

    I don’t think she has done any thing wrong .Article was good and at least
    she got some projection with this. What she wrote is a real thing and all of
    us should accept it . Good thing she wrote something innovative about which nobody
    would dare.

  • Balno

    The title of the article should of been “Are blowjobs patriarchal?”

    But who cares, this is a small fry newspaper which I doubt anybody of any significance reads.

    Capsule review: This is a rather shabby version of what is written in Cosmo week in week out.

    I think most criticism written on this forum is overly harsh and seems to be rather vindictive. Does an article this low profile deserve a detailed critical analysis? Not really. So what’s the real story with the extended essays on its apparent vulgarity and lack of academic merit?

  • JSS

    To be honest, this article makes me want to read the Sundial more.

    It is relevant, not only cos I am a 20something male but when I meet a girl in school or wherever that I like, I imagine how we’re gonna watch movies and laugh and share icecream and invariably how she is going to suck the oxygen pipe of mine. It is very important to me- if done right, I would instinctually want to please the girl back as much as she has done to me or even more (like buying her a Snickers Bar, Almond Flavour )

    This article gives me an insight to the female mind, and then I can move on to the classifieds and call the sperm donor ads, just before I read the opinion piece and an article about the sailing club.

    Do you see the variety?

    And I think they should put spy webcams on sierra hall rooftop so we can, as a community see couples try to do non-verbal things. We need reasons to stay on campus longer.

    Snickers anyone?

  • Barbara

    another great website is –> how to give the best head

  • Barbara

    if you want to learn how to actually give a great blow job, then I recommend you all check out jacks Blowjob lessons

  • BJ Lover

    Orgasming for a BJ is one of the best feeling a guy can ever experience. Sometimes its even better than sex. Regardless if its degrading or not, it is something that must be done to keep a man happy. All girls need to take that into consideration hooking up with a guy, especially if they expect a guy to go down on them.

    Vagina does not always taste or smell great either. But men sacrifice taste in order to please their woman. So why shouldn’t a girl do the same to a guy ?

  • dean

    what is this? does she want a job as a journalist for playboy or hustler? This is not a topic that should be discussed in a public paper anyone can just pick up and read. Had this woman done any research, she would understand how this has been a degrading act committed by many men in history to demean and put down women. She didn’t even mention the diseases that could be transmitted in this way or the emotional and psychological implications involved. Just a badly worded and really bad article. Also what is with the picture? Jewish writing on an arm with the guy forcing the womans head into the guys crotch to make it look like either a forced or dominating gesture? Just inappropriate by all means.

    • Lucy

      Thank you Dean for being the only person on this forum to make sense!! I completely agree about ur opinion on the picture and the Jewish writing on the arm was extremely unnecessarily. Seriously, did they need to bring religion into this too?

  • Fresh

    How is a blow job vulgar. Its a sexual technique for male stimulation. Men enjoy blow jobs, every single man in the world, regardless of what your lying boyfriend may have told you to put a smile on your face.
    And who, at a public university would have their world shattered by reading an article about a blow job.
    Does anyone here not remember the 90s? When you couldn’t surf the internet without being flooded with porn? Everyone in college today knows what a blow job is, has probably gotten or given one, and has no legitimate reason to be offended. Why is America so prude? Its sex! Your mom probably blew your dad before they conceived you, because that’s what normal people do. One partner attempts to satisfy the other to the best of their ability, and hopefully if you are in a relationship with someone who isn’t selfish and pretentious, they’ll do the same. I would gladly please my female partner orally any minute of any day, and yes, I would receive some satisfaction myself. There is no reason to date someone who refuses to explore all of your sexual curiosities and desires. Why share a life with some one who doesn’t enjoy what you enjoy. Its a very simple concept.
    Stop wearing your ass’s for hats and live a little.

    PS, one of Jesus’s closest friends sucked dick for a living!

    • DHS

      What a perverted desperate college kid. Can’t wait to see where you end up going in life with such pitiful and tasteless opiniated conviction like that. :)

  • j groupie

    This piece is damaging to the credibility of the paper and to that of the writer. It’s a waste of space and makes you all look silly.

    Editors: bad call running this one.
    Amber Starling: (Um, is that your real name or your porn name?)this one will for sure bite you in the rear six years from now when you’re applying for The Job of Your Life and you don’t get it because when they Googled you and found this.

  • H

    I am in no way offended by this article, but the use of the word blowjob is a little lowbrow. Perhaps you should use the traditional word “fellatio”.

    Anyways, I’m unsure of the point of this. Yes, men love “fellatio” just as girls love “cunnilingus”. If girls weren’t getting any they’d probably ask for it too.