Being set up on a blind date by a family member or close friend can go two ways, 1) the date can go well and you end up in a long term relationship. Or 2) it ends horribly and you vow to your self to never go on a blind date again.
It always seems that in my circle of friends I am “the single friend” and it is my friends’ mission to find me a boyfriend. Apparently I can not find a man myself. I know my friends and family mean well, but it goes to show that they do not know me at all considering the men they set me up with.
From my experience, blind dates were all mostly hell than finding my soul mate. There was the guy who I got the impression he was forced to go out on this blind date and resulted in him acting rude and close-minded.
He hated Disneyland because it was for kids that need to grow up and criticized almost every band that I liked (Queen and The Beatles are “terrible, overrated and untalented bands but Fallout Boy is awesome,” his words not mine) than strangely stayed quiet for the remaining of the date which made it hard for me to get him to engage in a conversation.
Another story is when I went on a double date with my friend, her boyfriend and his friend. My friend advised me that she met him once and thought he was a nice guy and that we would get along.
My date noticed my tattoo and asked me why I got it. I told him it represented my favorite band which was The Beatles. He said that he liked a lot of their songs. I asked him to name which ones because I was curious. He could not answer the question. Which lead me to think he knew nothing about The Beatles and only agreed with everything I said in order to impress me which did not work.
In learning from my mistakes and my blind dates’ I decided to put together a few do’s and don’ts in surviving blind dates:
1. Do dress for the occasion: The blind date setting is usually at a restaurant or coffee place for dinner and drinks to get to know one another. Find out the place you are meeting your date so you can know beforehand how to dress. Therefore the attire should be causal and not to formal depending on the place you go to. You do not want to show up wearing a fancy dress and your date is wearing jeans.
2. Do think about safety: On blind dates you never know who the person is so let someone know where you are going and who you are with along with your date’s number in case anything happens.
If your friend or family member set you up ask them to tag along as a double date so it does not have to be awkward. If you randomly met this person at the store or school, drive your own car and meet your date at the place. You never know how the person is and plus it will be easy to avoid that goodbye kiss if the date did not go too smoothly.
3. Do be nice: If you were forced to go on this date be open-minded and try not to be a negative Nancy. Be talkative and have a sense of humor by making a weird situation into a more relaxing setting for you and your date.
4. Don’t pretend to be someone else: First dates are supposed to be the ice breaker. Get to know the person’s interests, their likes and dislikes. Agreeing with everything they are saying in order to impress them is not going to work because it is better for the person to get to know your real personality than a persona that you are not.
5. Do small talk: Before the date, think of topics to talk about from bands, career goals, school, or their dreams and family.
6. Don’t talk politics or religion: Stay away from these topics on the first date since they often lead to heated arguments.
7. Don’t talk about your job (too much): You can discuss about what you do but do not go into complete details. Remember it is a date not a job interview.
8. Do be a good listener: Listen to what your date has to say. They might surprise you by sharing a common hobby or band. Try not to talk over them and do an equal share of talking among the both of you.
9. Don’t drag out the date too long: Know that when the conversation begins to die out, the date is usually over. If you keep trying to stir up topics it will only drag on and you or your date will lose interest. Dinner should be at least under four hours to eat and small talk.
10. Don’t use the three day policy: If you and your date got along and are interested in seeing each other again than exchange numbers and please do not follow the three day policy that the movie “Swingers” made popular where you must wait three days to call your date. It is okay to call them the next day to make future plans.
The next time someone sets you up on a blind date, remember the do’s and don’ts. Dates are not meant to be perfect, it is an experience so have fun and at the end hopefully you will have better luck at blind dates than me.